It really hit me this evening that my girl is starting Kinder in 5 weeks. I'm so excited for her and yet kind of sad to not have her home with me as much. It's odd to think that someone other than her dad and I are now going to have a big influence in her life. The past five years have certainly gone by faster than I thought they would and I'm sure are going to go by even faster.

It's been almost 6 months and I must say they have been the longest 6 months of my life. J fusses for almsost every feeding at some point and almost every time I put him to bed. It really wears on me. I hope the next 6 go by a little faster. Having 2 older ones I'm fully aware that they don't get "easier" it's just different, however, it's got to be better than how difficult it still is. Ahh!!! C is a pretty easy baby though so at least I don't have 2 challenging babies at once. :)

One More Thing

I've had Richard Marx "Should've Known Better" stuck in my head all day. That is now my gift to you and it will hopefully be purged from mine. "Darn you VH1 80's videos!" (as I shake my fist in the air) :)

Just Awake

It's 2:30 in the a.m. I wonderfully passed out on the couch sometime between 8:30 and 9 woke up around 1 a.m.ish. As I jumped up to make formula, load the dishwasher to run it and make coffee, I check in on the babes. C is just wide awake like it's 6 a.m. and time to get up. At least he's happy...right? Yeah, it's now 2:38 and that boy is still just up. J jumped in on the action and was up crying for about 45 minutes. "This is just for a season. This is just for a season," is the mantra I'm telling myself over and over. I will thankfully never have to go through a baby stage again and somehow my older 2 made it out to the other side and bring me so much joy. The big challenge is to find joy in the now.

Hopefully, good night! (as I typed that I can hear C squealing in delight from his crib...)

Ground Hog Day

I don't know who's seen the movie Ground Hog Day. Basically Bill Murray keeps repeating the same day over and over. I can really relate to that! I'm dreading going to bed because I don't know how in the world I'm going to do tomorrow. I just don't know and I don't have it in me.

Set It and Forget It?

I'm developing a passion for crock potting. I'm researching them and recipes for them in hopes of making my life "easier." Mid-nap I was having to resettle the babies and my thoughts drifted toward the fact that I don't seem to produce "easy" babies. Singly or in twos, breast-fed or bottle-fed, I feel Mike and I must be genetically predisposed to producing gassy babies who aren't the best nappers. On the flip side, generally speaking, once they are down for the night, that's it. I usually don't hear from them again. I started melding the two things together. Wouldn't it be great if the baby or babies were like a set it and forget it crock pot? Like at nap time, put them down for a nap and two hours or so later, Bing! they're up. Or when it's time for a bottle, you place said bottle in their mouth and 15 minutes later, Bing! they are done with no fuss. Unfortunately, that is not my life, but it is fun to muse over it and give myself a little chuckle. :o)

Weary

I am tired and weary. I feel like I could weep and breakdown at a moments notice. I also know that this too shall pass. Just needed to complain for a moment.

It's Amazing What a Walk to Starbucks Can Do

This morning started out very rough. The babies have been getting gassier and gassier again and have started to eat less as a result. It was a breaking point for me and I had a fantastic meltdown by 9:30. God is good though. In the middle of crying out to Him one of my bffs called and I was wise enough to answer. She didn't have an earth-shattering remedy to my issue at hand, but she had a sympathetic ear and heart and encouraging words to share. I am so grateful for my circle of "peeps." They (you!) mean more to me than I ever could express. I received so much needed encouragement from them that it brings tears to my eyes just to write it. After the wee ones woke up I showered, put on some make-up and walked over to Starbucks. It did the babies and myself much good and set a better tone for the rest of our day.

One of my great friends e-mailed the following me to me in my despair:

"We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen..."
2 Cor. 4:18

Father,

You help me see with my heart. I'm so distracted and discouraged by what I see with my eyes, but I know there is more to life than what I see. Help me look beyond the circumstances around me to what You're doing in my children's hearts, as well as in my own. I know that You're conforming us into the image of Your Son. That can't happen overnight or without a fight. Show me Your invisible hand working in this family. Turn my eyes towards You.

Amen

Emotionally Tired

Writing that last bit really took it out of me. I just want to do this better. Lord, help me to see how to do it better. I don't want to hope that Paige doesn't remember any of this because it's so bad, but to remember it because it was so memorable.

The Joy of...

I just got done watching Julie & Julia and loved it. I want to cook big meals everyday...someday I will be able to cook a couple of big ones a week again. Mike watched it with me and started joking around about what the name of our book would be. Currently it's "The Joy of Raising More Kids than You Intended in a Two Bedroom House." I'm now in love with Julia Child and want to read everything about her. It would at least be a good escape. This parenting twins on top of parenting a 5 and 2 1/2 year old thing is harder than I ever could have imagined. I'm trying to figure out how to do it even a little gracefully and am failing miserably. Tomorrow is a new day, thankfully, I will hopefully do better.

p.s. I know she didn't write the Joy of Cooking. ;o)

Moments

However, it is filled with great moments like all six of us hanging out on the living room floor with the babies watching them hold their little heads up and give us big smiles while big sissy takes pics of them and big bro wrestles with Daddy.

I also cannot believe my girl is 5 now. 5...really?! It's amazing to think how quickly that went by. When we brought her home from the hospital we were terrified and had no clue what to do with her. Now I don't what I would do without her. She is learning to play cards (Go Fish and Crazy 8s are her current favs) and it gets me excited to imagine when everyone else is a little older and we get to sit around playing cards and board games. It's moments like that that help me to see the huge blessing this big family is going to be. And don't get me started on my first born boy. We are having quite the love-fest right now and I don't want it to stop.

Easy

This is definitely not.

Feeding 2 Take 2

Thanks to my awesome sister for finding info online, I have a new way of feeding the boys at the same time. I have a nursing pillow that I didn't care for with Jack and Paige, but held on to just in case. Using it, I can lay both boys down, but still elevated, facing me while I feed them. :) I successfully navigated feeding them both for the first time. Now if only Caleb would stop being so incredibly fussy and take a decent nap...

How am I going to feed 2 babies??

It's been 3 1/2 weeks and I'm finding myself in the position of needing to feed 2 babies and being the only adult around sometimes. Last night I tried to feed them while they were in their infant carriers. That was a joke! Today's solution: put one fussy baby in the front-pack carrier while I feed the other. It worked this afternoon and will hopefully continue to work as long as my back can handle it! I will post a pic of it as soon as I have one.